How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
