There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
