either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
