I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize