Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
