what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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