my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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