Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
