I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
