i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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