ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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