Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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