I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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