Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am mentally ready for anal.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
