All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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