Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Betty ford says i'm here all night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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