Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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