Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
