I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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