When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
