it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
