I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
