Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
