Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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