Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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