Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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