the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize