i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Houston, we have a blender
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize