I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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