The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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