sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
