Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
