i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
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