We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
