Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
