then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
