Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
