dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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