plz talk dirty to me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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