You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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