he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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