Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
