I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
ttyl tear gas
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just had sex on a roof
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
