She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize