too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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