Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
