I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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