Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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