So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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