sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
