sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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