so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
