Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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