so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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