she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
