You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
