Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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