Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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