I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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