batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
