good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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