Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
