hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
