Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
